We all have choices. Every day we walk through a series of mindless choices. Hit the snooze, wash my face, brush my teeth... All choices. It just so happens that since we establish routines the choices are automatic without thought as to the consequences of choosing differently.
I have been thinking a lot about choices this past week. I worry about the consequences as a result of a lot of the choices I face everyday. I worry about things I have no control over. In particular, I worry about people who simply are complicated and full of their own choices and their impact on my life and vice versa.
Maybe it goes back to the realm of kindergarten. Who really wanted to be chosen last for gym class? Who really wanted to be the last man standing where the other kids were secure in their place on the respective teams? Who really wants to be the last girl standing when its time to pick a dance partner? Insecurities abound as a result of other people's choices.
I'm wondering why, as I made some of my bigger choices lately, I have worried so much about the impact.In hind sight I say -fuck it, it wasn't that important to begin with. In the moment my anxiety wasn't worth the stress. But the tin man has a heart!!! And that is why. I take so much to heart and worry about the negative impact as opposed to worrying about what will in fact make me happy.
I have to worry about making me happy and talking to myself in a loving and kind voice and not the angry bear that bubbles up with frustration as a result if my own insecurities.
I have been thinking a lot about choices this past week. I worry about the consequences as a result of a lot of the choices I face everyday. I worry about things I have no control over. In particular, I worry about people who simply are complicated and full of their own choices and their impact on my life and vice versa.
Maybe it goes back to the realm of kindergarten. Who really wanted to be chosen last for gym class? Who really wanted to be the last man standing where the other kids were secure in their place on the respective teams? Who really wants to be the last girl standing when its time to pick a dance partner? Insecurities abound as a result of other people's choices.
I'm wondering why, as I made some of my bigger choices lately, I have worried so much about the impact.In hind sight I say -fuck it, it wasn't that important to begin with. In the moment my anxiety wasn't worth the stress. But the tin man has a heart!!! And that is why. I take so much to heart and worry about the negative impact as opposed to worrying about what will in fact make me happy.
I have to worry about making me happy and talking to myself in a loving and kind voice and not the angry bear that bubbles up with frustration as a result if my own insecurities.
No comments:
Post a Comment