I want to say so many things. But where to begin? How do I express it in a constructive manner without sounding jaded.
There is an ebb and flow to life. You can have the best day in the world and the worst night all in the same 24 hours. I walked through the last few days quietly with the thought that my future is a complete blank. I no longer have any idea as to who is going to be there for me, with me or next to me. It's a mind numbingly sad feeling.
I have a choice as to how to handle this feeling. I have choices on how I allow people to treat me. I have the choice as to how I am going to let the past few days impact the next few and so on and so forth. I have the sad songs that have gotten me through long walks. I have a dog that trys to snuggle with me unconditionally. She sees my sadness. I have the tools I need to figure out where things went wrong and use it all as a life lesson.
I am not perfect. I am not always right. I am not always wrong. I am a person who has made bad choices just as much as good choices. I am my own worst hurdle. What makes me so sad is that I want the other person in this moment to come back and say I understand it. I understand that I hurt you. I understand that things can't be the same. I understand that you need space. I understand that we cant fix this back to perfect but I will show you I want to fix it. I understand that I, too, am also responsible for this situation.
Today my heart is completely broken because I actually thought I had found something really special. Broken hearts are a way of life. This does not mean I wont ever get my heart broken again. It will happen. And you know what? That's okay. Because it means that I still have the capacity to love with all of my heart. That, to me, is so very important.
There is an ebb and flow to life. You can have the best day in the world and the worst night all in the same 24 hours. I walked through the last few days quietly with the thought that my future is a complete blank. I no longer have any idea as to who is going to be there for me, with me or next to me. It's a mind numbingly sad feeling.
I have a choice as to how to handle this feeling. I have choices on how I allow people to treat me. I have the choice as to how I am going to let the past few days impact the next few and so on and so forth. I have the sad songs that have gotten me through long walks. I have a dog that trys to snuggle with me unconditionally. She sees my sadness. I have the tools I need to figure out where things went wrong and use it all as a life lesson.
I am not perfect. I am not always right. I am not always wrong. I am a person who has made bad choices just as much as good choices. I am my own worst hurdle. What makes me so sad is that I want the other person in this moment to come back and say I understand it. I understand that I hurt you. I understand that things can't be the same. I understand that you need space. I understand that we cant fix this back to perfect but I will show you I want to fix it. I understand that I, too, am also responsible for this situation.
Today my heart is completely broken because I actually thought I had found something really special. Broken hearts are a way of life. This does not mean I wont ever get my heart broken again. It will happen. And you know what? That's okay. Because it means that I still have the capacity to love with all of my heart. That, to me, is so very important.
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