Tuesday, January 17, 2012

What a difference a day makes...

I think that there is a lot to be said about how one feels from day to day.  It's not that everyday should be the same nor should there be a series of schizophrenic days, but there is definitely an ebb and  flow to each day.  I cant seem to shake a sense of sadness that is just overwhelming.  I seem to second guess everything in front of me. 

It is so hard to see the person others see in me these days.  I feel really alone, unloved, fat, ugly, yada yada yada.  All the things that women feel at one point or another. So the question is how do I shake it?  I just don't know what to do. 

Today as I walked up the parkway on my way home from my run and errands, I thought back to my life 3 years ago. I was such a different person.  Literally and figuratively. I just can't seem to deduce whether I was a happier person or a person in denial.  I looked different. I felt different.  I was different.  But I was not lacking in companionship.  Could that possibly be what was making me feel so happy? Food for thought...

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